this weekend was rough.
i am tired and cant seem to shake it.
i have some pain in my lower abdomen, on the left side.

this is the last week of the higher dose estrogen pill, so some of the daily discomfort should subside in a few weeks. i also added extra vitamin E to my regimine, which is supposed to help with the insulin resistance.

i am going to take my time with things this week. i have to just remember that i cannot do everything at once.

highs and lows

today is a bad day.
i am out of sorts with a headache.
i am dropping things and have a lot of discomfort.
it will get better. it has to get better.
but this is what happens, good yesterday, bad today.
work today, then dinner with my sister.
i want today to end better.

life is full circle/ the clouds are sometimes faster then we are

this morning, i woke up a little groggy, wanting a cup of coffee and a shower.
i have to leave for work soon and i still have to get ready, but i am here, writing this instead.

life is becoming full circle. things that have happened before, are happening again. and this time i feel like an adult, not a blithering idiot. work is stable. medically, i am stable. mentally, i am stable. i find that i am making better decisions as the past becomes the present.
maybe that is the point of it all.
some people believe in reincarnation.
but maybe it is during this life that we are the reincarnate of an earlier version of ourselves as we realize that nothing is new, everything has happened before and it will happen again, and how we react to something is the real task at hand.
you can never move on and will repeat life over and over until you get it right.

meds meds and more meds

i have been on the new meds for 2 weeks. i am taking metformin for insulin resistance and a high-dose estrogen pill to try to induce a period. i haven't had one in almost a year. my doc is giving it 2 months and if it doesn't work, i have to have the biopsy. i really do not want the biopsy.
but she thinks that the combo of the 2 new meds will get the result necessary, since reducing the IR is supposed to help also. the goal is to build up the endometrial lining.
for 2 weeks i had the normal side effect from adjusting new meds that tapered off during the past week.
today, i feel like a train hit me. i want to lay in my bed, curled up in a ball with a heating pad.
instead i am going to work.
at least the rest of the week is low impact.

old ghosts have decided to return....trouble in paradise, perhaps.