Last night, I made my way to New Brunswick, where I saw Jesus Christ Superstar at The State Theatre with Panda.

That sentence says alot.

I haven't seen Panda in years...years! A couple of years ago, she found me because I never changed my cell number. We have spend time talking and catching up and finding our friendship again. Last night was the first time I saw her and her mom since I lived there, which was over 5 years ago.
When I lived in New Brunswick, I had a love/hate relationship with the city, with my roommates, with myself. Last time I saw Jesus Christ Superstar was even longer ago and I am pretty sure it was when I lived with my parents briefly between places.
JCSS is interesting to me. I have listened to the soundtrack for years... since I was a little girl sitting in my parents living room, playing the first edition record and learning every word. When I struggled with my faith and questioned everything I was raised to believe, I still listened. When my beliefs changed as a grew up and became more about faith instead of regimented teachings, I still listened.

Little did I know how much I needed to see Panda, to see JCSS, to go somewhere and be at peace with my surroundings. It was great. It ended earlier then I would have liked, but I was so tired and needed to go to bed. This was not a one-time deal. I am going to make it a point to go there again, to see my friend again.

A was someone that I loved once like he was family, it was simple and firm. We were kindred spirits that finished each others sentences and ordered the same thing for dinner.

Then, once upon a time, he got sick, and I became sad. We went into two different directions and led our two different lives. Over time, I thought about A from time to time but I didn't know how to find him. I kept myself busy with work, sleep, work, sleep, lather, rinse, repeat etc. Many years went by and I found myself to be older, and little smarter and not so sad.

And one day, A found me. It was by chance he saw a mutual friend at a random bar on a random night. He is a new and improved version of the boy I once loved like family. We are older, wiser, and a little more tired.

This is the kind of thing that makes me wonder... are there people you are just meant to have in your life at a given time, for a given time, or for long term? Was the randomness really so random? We choose our friends, good or bad. Sometimes they drift and we move on.
Then sometimes they come back, good or bad, they come back and we choose to take them back or push them away. Sometimes you get someone back you never imagine will be there again. Those ones are the most important.

is there difference between fear and solitude?