Saturday, July 3, 2010

T-Minus whatever you want

i am in countdown-mode

i decided that i needed to make a list of all things that need to be done around here before surgery. i am 19 days away. Today is my last day at the store for the rest of the summer.
I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!
when i first started this journey, it seemed endless. now, i can see the end, it is in sight. it is coming. and the end of this is also the begining of something new.
i have questions that will be answered over time. i am sure that i am not the only one who has ever thought of this stuff.
  • will i have regrets
  • will i lose the weight constantly or sporatic
  • will i eventually stop taking all the meds, or at least cut back
  • will i be happy with the results
  • will i stick out like a sore thumb at events, like thanksgiving
  • how much is a new wardrobe really going to cost
  • will i see a difference in how i paint my toenails, take a shower, sleep, sit in the car
  • where will i get my daily willpower when i start to lose my focus
  • will i even lose my focus
  • will i have more energy to do things that i refrain from now
  • will i change who i am, how i react, how i treat people, my values, my core, my loves

i dont expect to have all the answers now, or even ever. but i just need to know that i will satisfied. i dont want to be consumed by this. food has been in charge for my whole life and now it is not. or i just think it is not.

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